I love writing drabbles (100 word stories). They encapsulate a lot into a few words. I would have eliminated the second "Lilly", giving you one more word to work with, and I probably would have see if I could end it with "The door slammed shut behind her." Eliminating the second name would be easy, adding the last two words to the final sentence would be a bit harder.
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Date: 2022-04-22 12:45 am (UTC)- Erulisse (one L)