Date: 2022-04-22 01:27 am (UTC)
roina_arwen: Darcy wearing glasses, smiling shyly (Default)
From: [personal profile] roina_arwen
Hmm. I see where you’re going with that, but I don’t think I could easily eliminate the second Lilly without either adding the word “she” or rephrasing it to something like:

She turned the key in the lock and pulled the heavy door, opening it wide.

That does save one word, but I really wanted “she turned the key in the lock” to stand on its own, for visual reasons as well as to put a pause in the narrative.

Thanks for the prompt suggestion - it was fun!

This account has disabled anonymous posting.
If you don't have an account you can create one now.
HTML doesn't work in the subject.
More info about formatting

Profile

roina_arwen: Darcy wearing glasses, smiling shyly (Default)
roina_arwen

July 2025

S M T W T F S
  12345
678 9101112
13141516171819
20212223242526
2728293031  

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags
Page generated Jul. 26th, 2025 08:21 pm
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios