LJ Idol, week 1: “Someone who will love you in all your damaged glory.”

[roina_arwen]

Let’s be honest - we are all damaged in some fashion.

Occasionally, the damage is obvious. However, most of the time it is not. There are too many invisible disabilities out there - be they physical, mental, or neurological - for me to name, so I’m not going to. More are probably being discovered as I type this.

Me? I’ve got a few physical issues to deal with. The most visible one is my weight. At five foot nothin’ and about 260 pounds, I’m considered obese. What is unknown to many is that about twenty years ago I was a hundred pounds heavier, before I had roux-n-Y gastric bypass surgery. So yes, I’m still a big gal, but I’m far smaller than I once was. Would I like to drop a few more pounds for health reasons? Sure. Am I actually going to? It’s highly unlikely.

There’s also a few non-visible disabilities that I get the pleasure of dealing with on a regular basis. I’m a Type 1 (insulin dependent) diabetic, and I also have autoimmune hepatitis. The autoimmune disease means I’m on a daily dose of Prednisone. The Prednisone makes my blood sugar go up, which makes it harder to control the diabetes. It’s a vicious cycle, but it’s the only cycle I’m willing to ride.

(Side note: I’ve never enjoyed bicycling, even in my younger and fitter days.)

My endocrinologist is satisfied that I’m able to keep my A1C (a three month average of one’s blood sugar levels) in the 7.1 to 7.5 range. Ideally, it should be under 7.0, but there’s that pesky Prednisone at work. Frankly, it’s safer overall if my sugars run a little on the high side than if I take too much insulin trying to be “perfect” and have a hypoglycemic episode, and my blood sugars bottom out. Thankfully, I use a continuous glucose monitor (CGM) which alerts me when my blood sugar gets too low (under 65) or too high (over 270).

Modern technology - whee!

My point is that visible or invisible, we ALL have some kind of “damage” to deal with, whether major or minor. It doesn’t make any of us lesser. We are each deserving of respect, understanding, and most of all, love.

Even if I don’t know you, I love you.

Pass it on. ❤️

Comments

[adoptedwriter]

Hugs...Understood!

[roina_arwen]

Hugs back atcha! Thanks!

[chasing_silver]

*HUGS* It sounds like you're doing all you can for yourself. That is amazing, and you're right, we are all damaged in some way. Thank you for this!

[roina_arwen]

You’re very welcome! Thanks for reading!

[adoptedwriter]

Hugs...

[thephantomq]

As someone soft-diagnosed with type II, I totally get it. I'm not at the point of requiring insulin (thankfully), but figuring out the right balance for myself that won't cause what I like to call "body panic" while actually treating the issue is... fun. It's been a long process but I think I finally figured it out.

<3 So I get it, with the doing what works best for YOUR body and your situation. Everyone's a little different; nothing should be one size fits all when it comes to medicine.

[roina_arwen]

Amen to that! Thanks for reading, and best of luck with your medical journey!

[nicholewithanh]

"Occasionally, the damage is obvious. However, most of the time it is not."

You never know what someone else is going through, right? A good reminder to practice patience and a bit of kindness.

[roina_arwen]

Exactly so - everyone is fighting their own battle.

Thanks for reading!

[erulissedances]

Sending that reflected love back to you, 2X. *hugs*

- Erulisse (one L)

[roina_arwen]

*Hugs!*

[fausts_dream]

I like this different take on the prompt. I have lost a lot of weight but still go 270 and my (type two) diabetes sometimes makes me lose weight when it is at its worst. Stationary bikes are no bueno for me too, I can sorta do a treadmill if I pump the music up loud enough.

[roina_arwen]

Music is a must for me when I’m trying to exercise - it’s a good distraction. Thanks for reading!

[murielle]

Yes, we do. Each of us, visible or invisible, is damaged and have to deal with it.

Thank you for sharing yourself with us. <3

[roina_arwen]

Hugs! Thanks for reading!

[drippedonpaper]

We love you too. I'm glad you joined in Idol again this season. Stay safe.

[roina_arwen]

I’m an Idolholic, lol! You stay safe too!

[halfshellvenus]

Awwww... autoimmune hepatitis is a new one to me, and what an unhelpful situation when its treatment fights with keeping your diabetes in check!

Though you're battling with physical issues, I think you won big in the emotional department. You're one of the nicest and consistently upbeat people I know!

[roina_arwen]

Aww - thank you so much for the compliment! ❤️

A good attitude and quirky sense of humor makes most situations at least tolerable, in my opinion.

[bleodswean]

Truer words...Yes! For some reason the species or society present unrealistic perfection to us like a measuring stick.

[roina_arwen]

Exactly so! Honestly, “perfection” would be so boring!

[winter_time]

I love this so much, and it really bothers me when people are so quick to jump to conclusions about others visible and invisible issues. Beautiful entry<3

[roina_arwen]

I’m glad you enjoyed this - thanks so much!

[pixiebelle]

I didn’t realize you had autoimmune hepatitis. I do too. I’m not on steroids, we’re trying alternative therapies because my doctors fear it’ll give me diabetes and other health issues. I’m also a heavier woman. I may be on steroids if the current meds don’t work out though.

[roina_arwen]

Good luck with your alternative therapies! Hugs!

[favoritebean_writes]

Oh Prednisone is the wonderful monster drug. I didn't realize one could use it to regulate autoimmune hep. It seems like most people don't realize that Pred also does a number on joints and many other things, but my doc love to prescribe it when my asthma gets out of control.

At any rate, you're absolutely right. We all have some kind of damage, and I love you too.

[roina_arwen]

Fortunately, I’m on a fairly low dose (10 mg) and it’s kept my liver enzymes and whatnot in a decent range. Plus it’s really cheap, which is nice (especially considering how expensive insulin can be).

[muchtooarrogant]

I can definitely relate. My wife also has diabetes, and it's a constant struggle keeping the medications for that and other things balanced. Thanks for sharing, and best of health moving forward.

Dan

[roina_arwen]

Thanks, Dan! Hugs to you and your wife from me!

Laura

[swirlsofpurple]

Thank you for sharing your struggles *hugs*

[roina_arwen]

Thanks for dropping by! Hugs!

[rayaso]

I just love your writing, and this is no exception. I always look forward to your entries. I would like to second Halfshell's comment. I get to do that, since we're married, but I am sincere about it. As always, Halfshell says it better (and sooner) than I can.

[roina_arwen]

Aww, thank you! These sorts of comments always make my day. Hugs!

[static_abyss]

Thank you for the love ❤️

Wishing you all the best. And good on you for keeping in the 7's for your a1c.

[roina_arwen]

Thank you! ❤️

[banana_galaxy]

100% agree, everyone is deserving of love, no matter what kind of "damage" they have. No one is perfect. Even if some people think they are.

[roina_arwen]

It’s the “people who think they are” that often seem to need the most looking after. Thanks for reading!

[mollywheezy]

I am also obese with several health problems too. IT's a struggle. *HUGS*

[roina_arwen]

It certainly is! *Hugs*

[gunwithoutmusic]

I had a friend with Type I diabetes and I always felt for how much of a hassle just living life was while dealing with it. I guess at a certain point, that's just life and you get used to it. I think about my scoliosis and how I have to tell my husband that my back literally never doesn't hurt but that's my baseline so it's just life. It makes him sad but what are you gonna do?

I really enjoyed reading this and learning more about you. :)

[roina_arwen]

There are so many chronic illnesses that people have to deal with on a daily basis. Sorry to hear about your back pain. Gentle hugs!

[alycewilson]

I knew you'd lost weight but not how much. Kudos! While the illnesses have got to be stressful, it sounds like you've got them under control. Keep taking care of yourself, because I love ya right back!

[roina_arwen]

I just do the best I can, as do we all. Thanks so much! ❤️