roina_arwen | LJ Idol, Week 2: “Sankofa” (Subtitle: Remember Me)

She missed the days of being able to wake up slowly, serenely, quietly. The early morning sun would lightly kiss her eyes and caress her cheeks from behind gauzy white curtains. The salt-laden breeze off the ocean had once encouraged her lungs to breathe deeply, to yawn, and to stretch her athletic body like a lazy kitten.

She used to open her eyes, blink a few times to clear away the haziness of remnant dreams and sit up in her soft bed. Often, she listened to the radio play whatever musical hits were at the top of the charts that day, that month, or that year.

She missed music most of all. Music was her release, her confessor, and a much needed outlet for excessive emotions - to sing loudly, beat her hands rhythmically against a table or the wall, tap her bare feet against the cottage floor.

Now, there was only silence, darkness, and unyielding cold. Aisling hated the cold.

Why was she cold?

Aisling shuddered and opened her eyes, or at least she had the impression of doing so, but her surroundings remained pitch black. Was there anything to be seen, or had her eyes been damaged? She couldn’t recall.

She tried to move, shift position, lift a finger…anything. No such luck.

What had happened?

Aisling thought back. There had been something…an incident or accident of some sort? She hadn’t been alone. Aisling had the distinct impression someone had been there with her, by her side, along for the ride…but who?

Had they been left behind?

A spike of pain exploded behind her eyes when she tried to recall who it had been. She could no longer concentrate - she could barely think. She closed her eyes and whimpered. The sound echoed within the enclosure of her small chamber, her prison. Was it a coffin? It felt like one, but no. Aisling was in too much pain to be dead. That was a relief.

Her thoughts drifted off, and sleep reclaimed her.

Time passed.

Aisling awoke with a start. Her body shuddered, and nerve endings flared to life. Her fingers twitched. She took a hesitant breath, then another. No pain.

She opened her eyes.

Soft light, slightly blue, suffused the room. The air had a mild citrus scent, vaguely lemon? Her stomach growled, and Aisling absently rubbed it, relishing the feeling of smooth skin beneath her hand.

Her memory flickered, and a vision of a young woman with wavy dark hair and hazel eyes flared to life. Ember. Her sister, her twin, her inspiration. She was gone. Ember had saved her, sacrificed herself and her potential so Aisling would survive.

Aisling felt a tear slither down her cheek. She wiped it away and decided to live for them both.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

nicholewithanh

Wow, this piece is so intriguing! I loved the suspense of not knowing if she was alive and the twist at the end with her sister saving her. It makes me wonder how Aisling will live for them both.

roina_arwen

I’m glad this intrigued you! Thanks!

adoptedwriter

I like how we know something happened, but we aren't sure what.

It must have been a very serious accident, all things considered. Thanks for reading!

mollywheezy

So beautiful and sad! I loved the hopeful ending.

Thank you so much!

fausts_dream

I am intrigued, a lot of mystery but I am hooked early as only good writers seem to do, and even then sporadically, well done.

I love intrigue, and sort of figuring things out as I go. I find that a good opening is essential to pull the reader in. Thanks!

muchtooarrogant

I thought this was both beautiful and haunting. And, your first paragraph made me wish for a lazy morning in bed with sunlight through gauzy curtains. :)

Great entry.

Dan

I’m glad you enjoyed it. Thank you so much!

tonithegreat

The name Aisling takes me back to the old LJ days! Wasn’t Wyrding Studios there? Regardless this was super evocative. I wonder how much might be metaphor as I too miss some Embers that burned more brightly closer to the start of my writing journey.

I believe there was an Aisling in Idol at some point? Hard to keep track after so many years.

Maybe a bit of allusions rather than metaphors? Either way, I’m glad you like this!

chasing_silver

Interesting, and wonderful imagery here!

thephantomq

:( poor Aisling, but at least she was given another shot to move forward. I'm glad she decided at the end to take it <3

I’m glad too! Thanks for reading!

halfshellvenus

I liked the spooky middle to this, which I didn't expect after the opening. I also like the idea that Aisling could have been experiencing her twin's thoughts then--witnessing the sacrifice Ember had made.

Yes, exactly. I couldn’t decide whether she was reliving her own pain or that of her twin, so I wanted the readers to decide for themselves. Thanks!

sohardtohold

What an opening! I'm ready to ready more.

murielle

Beautiful, but hauntingly sad.

The dark between life and death, between consciousness and oblivion, between knowing and not.

Powerful piece!

Thank you for the wonderful compliment!

You are very welcome! 🙂

inkstainedfingertips

This is beautifully written. It is intriguing and I enjoy the way you parcel out the details just enough to keep us traveling the trail of bread crumbs. It is paced very well and adds to the mystery and intrigue. A very enjoyable read.