Microfiction Challenge: Take Two
Jun. 16th, 2022 08:45 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
roina_arwenBecause I’m stubborn, even though it doesn’t matter any more, I took the judges feedback and re-edited my piece. It is now 99 words. I do agree that it’s much stronger. But at the time, we only had 24 hours to write the original piece, so there’s that.
At any rate, here is the edited version.
Surrender
Eva had finally exhausted herself.
She sprawled on the bathroom floor in her pajamas. Eyes red and puffy, she had cried herself dry. Crumpled tissues littered the tiles like fluffy dandelions, and the box was empty.
She was empty.
Every month, the wait was the hardest. Again and again, their results were negative.
They had failed.
The doctors had failed.
Her body had failed.
Eva’s bruised and bloated abdomen attested to their efforts. They had tried so many times. She couldn’t go through this heartbreak again. It was exhausting.
She took a shaky breath, and stood.
They were done.
At any rate, here is the edited version.
Surrender
Eva had finally exhausted herself.
She sprawled on the bathroom floor in her pajamas. Eyes red and puffy, she had cried herself dry. Crumpled tissues littered the tiles like fluffy dandelions, and the box was empty.
She was empty.
Every month, the wait was the hardest. Again and again, their results were negative.
They had failed.
The doctors had failed.
Her body had failed.
Eva’s bruised and bloated abdomen attested to their efforts. They had tried so many times. She couldn’t go through this heartbreak again. It was exhausting.
She took a shaky breath, and stood.
They were done.
